Being a good customer can be a lot of work, but in the end hard work pays. Good customers are the bread and butter that keep our bellies full. We’ve kept our family business running for a good 3 weeks and man its hard work. Since opening I have learned a handful of things and the most important fact learned is “How to spot a good customer.”
Myth: A good customer always asks questions. False, Never ever ask your service man any questions. Not only will you loose your own self respect, you’ll lose your good customer reputation.
If your feeling like you may have backslid and your hanging on the verge of converting then here are a few tips to keep your Good Customer reputation.
1. When your service man approaches you about your repair, never look at him. Stare directly at his feet and hand him your wallet and say as follows.
“Thank you for even gracing me with your presence, here is my item that needs fixed and here is all the cash I have. Take as much time as you need and money is not an option. May you have a blessed day, king.”
Now kiss his hand and be gone.
2. Never call. Ever find yourself asking this question, “Hi, I was just wondering if you had a chance to?…. Wrong: Never call, only desperate lonely bastards call. So if your a desperate lonely bastard, do it.
3. This is the Big One: When receiving your bill, never look your service man in the eyes. It’s a sign that you think your inferior. He’s inferior, never forget it. All you do is take out the Crowbar in your trunk and “Crack that fucking wallet open wide!”
If King decides to give you a little tap on the ass before you leave, he appreciates all your hard work!